Reboot Your Relationship

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Reboot Your Relationship

Once you’re comfortable with your man, it can be easy to fall into a comfortable daily pattern. The problem is when that pattern becomes a rut. You start to feel bored, restless, and irritated with each other, causing problems in the relationship. What you need is a reboot – a significant change in your routines that keeps things interesting and allows you to reconnect and rediscover all the reasons you fell in love.

Break the Dinner Cycle

As with compulsive behaviors, making a small change in your patterns can lead to bigger changes. If you’ve been ordering take-out every night, surprise your husband with a home-cooked meal. Eat in the dining room, away from the TV. Light a few candles. Make a special dessert. The way to a man’s heart really is through his stomach. He’ll appreciate the extra effort and the good food, and he’ll probably even do the dishes.

Surprise him by suggesting a dinner out on a weekday. Meet right after work and have a nice meal together. Recapture that feeling of when you were first dating and rearranged your schedules any way you could to spend time together. If you have kids, have a late dinner once a week after they’ve gone to bed. It gives you a romantic time as a couple and allows you to discuss all the things you can’t in front of your children.

Take a Vacation

Taking a vacation allows you to break several of your daily patterns at once. You can get away from work obligations, family phone calls, and yard work. There are no visual stresses like stacks of laundry or To-Do lists. It’s just a hotel room that gets cleaned by someone else each day, eating good meals and not doing dishes, and spending time with the man that you love. You can lounge on the beach all day, browse antique stores, or explore a new city. You can even go your separate ways during the day and reconnect with new stories at night. Choose whatever style of vacation works for you as a couple. It doesn’t have to be expensive, and even a night or weekend away can help brighten your moods.

Make a Concession

Both small and grand gestures can work wonders. It can be something simple like changing up your wardrobe to include skirts more often because you know he loves your legs. It can be something bigger, like inviting over his beloved family or friends that you normally don’t get along with. If he normally goes fishing, to conventions or sports games alone or with his guy friends, ask if you can accompany him the next time. Making concessions and showing interest in the things he cares about will make him feel loved, and he’ll be inspired to return the favor. Showing extra consideration for each other can help break you out of a negative rut, and give the loving feelings you have for one another a needed boost.

Start a New Project

Sometimes work and daily responsibilities pull couples apart to the point that they’re living separate lives. Finding a common project to work on together helps you reconnect. Try redecorating a room, designing a new garden in your backyard. Join a mixed league of bowling, darts, or other sports. Take a cooking or car repair class together.

You’ll learn new skills, and also learn new things about each other. Having to work together, solve problems, compete or be creative helps you discover your talents as a team. While you’re having fun, you’re also developing skills for tackling bigger issues in your life as a couple. You’ll also have new experiences to talk about and hopefully share a few laughs. Spending quality time together on a shared pursuit strengthens your relationship and breaks up the dull routine of daily life.